Sic Transit Gloria Seami

According to THE SCHDULE (tm.) Sprocket is due to arrive in one month. I hope he waits at least that long, because I've got 2 more weeks of my block placement at Alexandra to go. So remember little one, After September 9, everything will be fine is our family motto at the moment.

So what happens now? Time has run short and it has run fast. Chris is practising meditation and relaxation exercises, keeping herself fit and doing a tonne of yoga. She's strong, and her strength leaves me gobsmacked.

After what felt like a lull in activity and a lull in change, in the last 2 weeks I became very very aware that my son is alive, kicking, bouncing and causing his mother increasing aches and pains. Corny as it sounds, if I could take one second of that discomfort on and spare Chris' lower back I would. I'm sure this sense gets stronger as you get closer to the event. I hope I can help.

Soon Sprocket's lungs will have to do their own work. He'll have to breath and eat all on his own. Of course he won't be able to do much else for that first little while, but he'll get there. He'll have songs and stories. Funny faces and games of "peek-a-boo" and whatever else.... He'll have cuddles and whispers. He'll have us making mistakes, getting things wrong, overdoing or underdoing things and blundering about until we find our own new equilibrium. He'll have (indeed he already has) the unconditional love of his mother and father.

He'll change us forever. He already has.....

On Friday afternoon, at about 2:40pm I was in school, just logging into the library PCs to check on stuff when I got a phone call from Chris. She explained she was in emergency at the Royal Women's and wanted me to get there ASAP.

I flew out the door, and I mean flew. I had no idea I could get my shit together so fast.... Fortunately my placement school is Uni High. It's literally on the same block as the hospital. I was there in 15 minutes. Chris was in pain. She was really concerned that she was about to miscarry, but the initial assessment by nurses/midwives at the hospital had shown that she wasn't. She was okay. Sprocket's heart was still beating normally, but they needed to find out what the source of the pain was.

I sat with her. Assured her things would be fine. Asked her if things were getting worse/better, and generally did my best to make myself useful as some hours passed by. The passing of time isn't anyone's fault. Chris had been seen and assessed quickly. There were women coming in in labour fairly regularly and taking priority.

We got into the ED at about 4pm or so, and chris got a bed. She described the pain as cramps across her lower back, and there was also pain in her tummy. It came and went, and felt crampy. Chris' first thought had been "Oh crap, it's contractions", but examinations had show otherwise.

Chris was seen by a doctor at around 6pm. Unfortunately she was unable to give an immediate diagnosis. Some blood tests were ordered chris had some physical examinations while the doctor poked around for any physical signs of distress downstairs. But nothing came of any of the tests they ran. Time was flying, and Chris remained a mystery... We started playing "Word With Friends" on my phone to pass the time.

After 3 different tests/examinations, an Obstetrician finally arrived at about 8:45. Poked around, inspected Chris and quickly concluded she was suffering from "Pelvic Instability". Her diagnosis didn't involve anything invasive and took about 30 seconds. Of course, without the preliminary work done by the other doctor, it's quite possible the specialist would have still done physical exams and ordered blood tests.... But it looked as though it took 30 seconds for this doctor to tell what was wrong after we'd waited around for 6.5 hours to see her. But them's the breaks on a Friday night I suppose.

Pelvic instability occurs in some women during pregnancy as the ligaments/tendons/whatever that hold together the bones of the "Pelvic Girdle" loosen to make way for childbirth. In some women they loosen more than necessary, and cause lower back pain as the bones drift apart and put more pressure on other muscles.

So Chris is seeing a physiotherapist today. She may have to wear a belt or something, or do exercises to strengthen the supporting muscles in the area.

So that's the down....


The up can be summed up in 1 sentence:

Yesterday I felt my son kick.

Reality melted at that moment. The world froze and faded to black in my mind. I looked around the room like it was on a movie screen. Like it was a cardboard theatre set and had ceased to be real-life. My other senses numbed for a time, and the only thing that was real was the feel of Chris under my hand, and the warmth of her skin.

And just as the world was starting to fade back in.... he kicked again.

Last time I posted about this I went over a range of feelings the ever more impending Sprocket has stirred deep within me. And now, about 1 month on, the feelings have not subsided, they have not normalised and they have not reduced in depth or intensity. In fact the opposite is true.

Conditions have altered a bit. Chris is now definitely showing. The nausea seems to have settled down (touch wood) and in general things are more in a routine. But that haze of anxiety and euphoria continue to envelope my world. I can't just describe it as 'anticipation' - doesn't do it justice.... I'm never not thinking about sprocket. I imagine that's the way it goes from here on in.

We are accumulating things. A fair few of them. Many of them we've now owned for some time. A pram. A Cot. A bundle of cloth nappies. A bath. A High Chair. It's sitting behind me as I type this starkly glaring at me. The pile is silently judging my capacity and readiness to take on what is to come. I'LL SHOW YOU PILE OF STUFF! MARK MY WORDS!

Another odd thing of note, just a bizarre observation really... pregnant bellies are harder than I thought. Of course that makes sense, but it actually surprises me for some reason.

I am trying to take care of Chris through this time. I actually find myself more in love with her each passing day. Her back is sometimes sore. She gets tired. She has odd eating habits. But that's part of how it works I suppose. It'll get worse before it gets better...

I get to see Sprocket on Monday. Monday will be good. We can even get a DVD of the scan.....