2008 in Review Seamus style
Jan. 2nd, 2009 08:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shamo2008 was good to me. A year of crises, yes, but crises precipitates change. And change is never boring....
Some things didn't change. A lot didn't change for me actually. I still have 2 arms, for example. This is a good thing.
A lot did change, however. People had crises and issues around me. I had my own mini-crises work wise.
Actually the more I think about it, the less I think it was a mini-crisis... It was a bigger a deal than I made out. I probably downplayed it to myself because it was easier to deal with that way. There was also a lot of other, heavier, shit going on around me that meant that being 'pseudo-fired' at the City of Melbourne just seemed so small... But it sucked. It was shit. It left me feeling angry and frustrated with an organisation that overburdens managers with so much sh1te that they can't actually manage. This means you can't get in touch with them when you need them. Your 'weekly catch-ups' end up happening monthly. You ask for something, then wait 2 weeks before asking for it again because no one's said anything.... Then the process is repeated about 20 times, and THEN you get an answer. And I was in a work area where people seemed to care a bit more about being liked by the workers than about getting the best work out of them... So I left. I feel better for leaving, but I'm still not sure what it is I do in my new job..... But I'm working it out.
It's all left me in a bit of a quagmire. I still feel like I'm going through the motions at the playground, at times. I still feel reactive (rather than proactive), and at times I'm not sure why they have an extra person doing the work I do.... But I feel like I'm making progress. I feel like I'm making a difference and I feel like the next 2 weeks will reveal a lot to me about what the Fitzroy Adventure Playground actually is when I work in the playground proper for 4 days. And the change in pace has been good. I've had more time to think, to work on omniprop things and keep life in check. All of which I've achieved pretty well.
Artistically this year rocked. Lysistrata is the greatest thing I've ever done. Period. It had ups and downs, it tired me out, broke me down to pieces and left me feeling raw, emotional and exhausted, but the result was very satisfying. I learned a few lessons too, both about myself, my tastes and my work styles. Some of them were hard (I'll never be in a show I'm directing ever again, absolutely not, never, nada, no) I also learned that I do not suck. That people, people I don't know and who have no connection to me whatsoever, can come and see something I've worked on and like it. My god, people actually liked it. And they produced written evidence to confirm it! Some didn't like it - but they didn't like it for reasons that meant I still did what I set out to.
The post-show blues left me feeling a shade despondent, to be honest. It was quite a come down. More than I've had before. But that's another lesson learned!
We also had 2 TIE gigs that were fun. The Clouds was a shamozel. It was a ramshackled, thrown together mad house.... But it still came off. The Women of Troy was a lot simpler, and consequently a lot better... I was really glad we did it, and really glad to play Hecuba! (I may never do that again).
It also made me realise that when I'm into something, I can judge, decide, direct and drive things forward. I'm not a chronic passenger, I sometimes feel I am in my paid work life, but I'm energetic and focussed. I can pour myself into a task and a role - when it matters to me.
None of this would have been remotely possible with the help and support and love of many good people. People who tolerate me for reasons I can't work out, and people who are and remain dear to me. I do (and will continue to do) what I can to deserve you all.
And finally climbing. Oh climbing. I love it. I am so happy I got back into it this year. As a physical activity, it's my second favourite thing. The first, I'll just keep to myself, thank you very much.
My family has continued on its merry way.
Dad's slow and agonising slide continues. I hope he's paid he's dues soon, and can be at peace and just rest. In the mean time I am, and will continue to be, a good son to him. I can't mend him, fix his flaws or make him a better man. I can just be one myself.
I feel closer to mum than I've been in a few years, which is good. I love my mother dearly. When I was small I looked on her as a hero, as some kind of superhuman. Our guardian against the evils that plagued us. Much (too much) to her own detriment. I think she's found contentment. I hope I'm a good son to her.
My sister continues to blaze her way through life. She always manages to land on her feet, and 2008 was like that for her.
All through I had![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mstakenidentity with me. We shacked up officially. She discovered she hadn't given her parents quite enough credit on the 'liberal' front, which made me laugh a lot. We got a second cat. We've built ourselves a pretty decent home together. And my world still lights up when she walks in the room. Life is good.
So 2009. 5 Major things on the artistic front; Melbourne Model the Musical at the Comedy festival will be the big thing in the first quarter of the year. There are also 2 paid Omniprop Gigs around March (Ballarat and Oakleigh - probably), then Mostelaria (Tom's play) and then the big one (for me anyway): THE FROGS!.
I'm also back at school. MA in Arts Management, here I come!. I hope I like it... We'll see I guess....
2009 will be a lot more challenging I think. It will be a lot busier, it will be a lot less certain, and it will be a lot more 'Flying by the seat of my pants'... I'm looking forward to it immensely.
Some things didn't change. A lot didn't change for me actually. I still have 2 arms, for example. This is a good thing.
A lot did change, however. People had crises and issues around me. I had my own mini-crises work wise.
Actually the more I think about it, the less I think it was a mini-crisis... It was a bigger a deal than I made out. I probably downplayed it to myself because it was easier to deal with that way. There was also a lot of other, heavier, shit going on around me that meant that being 'pseudo-fired' at the City of Melbourne just seemed so small... But it sucked. It was shit. It left me feeling angry and frustrated with an organisation that overburdens managers with so much sh1te that they can't actually manage. This means you can't get in touch with them when you need them. Your 'weekly catch-ups' end up happening monthly. You ask for something, then wait 2 weeks before asking for it again because no one's said anything.... Then the process is repeated about 20 times, and THEN you get an answer. And I was in a work area where people seemed to care a bit more about being liked by the workers than about getting the best work out of them... So I left. I feel better for leaving, but I'm still not sure what it is I do in my new job..... But I'm working it out.
It's all left me in a bit of a quagmire. I still feel like I'm going through the motions at the playground, at times. I still feel reactive (rather than proactive), and at times I'm not sure why they have an extra person doing the work I do.... But I feel like I'm making progress. I feel like I'm making a difference and I feel like the next 2 weeks will reveal a lot to me about what the Fitzroy Adventure Playground actually is when I work in the playground proper for 4 days. And the change in pace has been good. I've had more time to think, to work on omniprop things and keep life in check. All of which I've achieved pretty well.
Artistically this year rocked. Lysistrata is the greatest thing I've ever done. Period. It had ups and downs, it tired me out, broke me down to pieces and left me feeling raw, emotional and exhausted, but the result was very satisfying. I learned a few lessons too, both about myself, my tastes and my work styles. Some of them were hard (I'll never be in a show I'm directing ever again, absolutely not, never, nada, no) I also learned that I do not suck. That people, people I don't know and who have no connection to me whatsoever, can come and see something I've worked on and like it. My god, people actually liked it. And they produced written evidence to confirm it! Some didn't like it - but they didn't like it for reasons that meant I still did what I set out to.
The post-show blues left me feeling a shade despondent, to be honest. It was quite a come down. More than I've had before. But that's another lesson learned!
We also had 2 TIE gigs that were fun. The Clouds was a shamozel. It was a ramshackled, thrown together mad house.... But it still came off. The Women of Troy was a lot simpler, and consequently a lot better... I was really glad we did it, and really glad to play Hecuba! (I may never do that again).
It also made me realise that when I'm into something, I can judge, decide, direct and drive things forward. I'm not a chronic passenger, I sometimes feel I am in my paid work life, but I'm energetic and focussed. I can pour myself into a task and a role - when it matters to me.
None of this would have been remotely possible with the help and support and love of many good people. People who tolerate me for reasons I can't work out, and people who are and remain dear to me. I do (and will continue to do) what I can to deserve you all.
And finally climbing. Oh climbing. I love it. I am so happy I got back into it this year. As a physical activity, it's my second favourite thing. The first, I'll just keep to myself, thank you very much.
My family has continued on its merry way.
Dad's slow and agonising slide continues. I hope he's paid he's dues soon, and can be at peace and just rest. In the mean time I am, and will continue to be, a good son to him. I can't mend him, fix his flaws or make him a better man. I can just be one myself.
I feel closer to mum than I've been in a few years, which is good. I love my mother dearly. When I was small I looked on her as a hero, as some kind of superhuman. Our guardian against the evils that plagued us. Much (too much) to her own detriment. I think she's found contentment. I hope I'm a good son to her.
My sister continues to blaze her way through life. She always manages to land on her feet, and 2008 was like that for her.
All through I had
mstakenidentity with me. We shacked up officially. She discovered she hadn't given her parents quite enough credit on the 'liberal' front, which made me laugh a lot. We got a second cat. We've built ourselves a pretty decent home together. And my world still lights up when she walks in the room. Life is good.So 2009. 5 Major things on the artistic front; Melbourne Model the Musical at the Comedy festival will be the big thing in the first quarter of the year. There are also 2 paid Omniprop Gigs around March (Ballarat and Oakleigh - probably), then Mostelaria (Tom's play) and then the big one (for me anyway): THE FROGS!.
I'm also back at school. MA in Arts Management, here I come!. I hope I like it... We'll see I guess....
2009 will be a lot more challenging I think. It will be a lot busier, it will be a lot less certain, and it will be a lot more 'Flying by the seat of my pants'... I'm looking forward to it immensely.
